I’ve been reading a lot recently about time management and accomplishing tasks. I’ve been doing this because my anxiety levels have been escalating lately, and I am trying very, very hard to maintain some sense of control over my life.
I just realized, however, that I can read about how to ‘get things done’ all I want, but it isn’t going to do me any good, because I have nothing going on in my life that ACTUALLY needs to get done, except, you know, feeding myself and various artistic whims that I have.
I work four days a week, and I enjoy having 9 hours a day where I have Things That Need To Be Done, but I’ve really let my personal life go, to the point that I have no outside hobbies or projects going on at all. I feel better about myself and my life when I have tasks to accomplish, because when there are things to do, I get shit done. But I am not self-motivated, I really need some outside figure to tell me what to do/give me a reason to do it.
I hope this freelance gig doesn’t fall through, but I won’t be surprised if it does, because the guy is a friend of mine, and bless him, he’s got his finger in a lot of pots. And is kind of a flake. I see him at the coffeeshop nearly every day, so I guess I can pester him about it. And if he doesn’t want me anymore, he needs to just freaking tell me, especially since he’s going to be having meetings with the people he /is/ working with right in front of my face.
tl;dr UGGGGGGGh
